My son just shamed me for listening to the Carpenters. Really, I can’t blame him. They are the Carpenters, after all, a bit nerdy in an elevator music sort of way. Truth be told, I loves me some Karen. She was so smooth and Richard laid down some awesome tracks. Tonight I just wanted some soft music that won’t put me to sleep. When the boy leaves in a few minutes, I am going to sing along. Call me pathetic if you want. I think I am cool.
For those curious, the album is Gold, their greatest hits.
My mom loved the Carpenters. Mom was a very talented piano player. I think she had a bit of a crush on Richard Carpenter.
I am putting off writing what I sat down intending to chronicle. Today was.. different. I haven’t decided if it was good or bad. It was my first day back after a four day weekend, my boss very glad I was back and sent me a message while I was logging in this morning. Monday and Tuesday had been boogers, my presence missed. He told me that I have a calming influence on my fellow team members, motivate them, which in a way is part of my job description as the senior. I take the tough stuff, am tasked to provide encouragement and support to my team, be the guy my boss can lean on and confide in. He called me when there were enough team members logged on to cover the phones, talked a half hour. It makes me feel good to be so appreciated, my value recognized. For 25 years, I suffered through a job that had the opposite affect. Yes, that job was very similar to my marriage.
Ugh. I need to stop that. Positive thoughts, eh? With the Carpenters happily chirping nearby, there shouldn’t be any cause for negative.
The quarterly customer service newsletter was also distributed at the beginning of this week. My picture and a short bio were in it, along with some very kind words. I was selected employee of the month. So my day also began with a lot of pats on the back. In the 15 months I have been with the company, I have received a lot of recognition, encouragement, and support. There was a lot of light hearted ribbing as well — the picture in the newsletter was taken the day I was selected as one of the winners of the company Halloween costume contest. When I finish this blog, I will have to go retrieve that picture and post it here.
Yesterday morning began in a different way. I don’t often sleep in and I didn’t yesterday. Instead, I was up before 6:30 AM. After all, my 7 AM online meet and greet with my daughter and her new beau was about to happen. The coffeemaker had already produced a fresh pot of coffee for me. I settled down at my kitchen table for some breakfast and quiet time (hot oatmeal with a little honey and sliced banana, for those curious) to prepare myself for the meeting. At 7 AM sharp, my daughter messaged me, asked me if I was ready. I dialed her up and was greeted by my beaming redheaded daughter, an equally beaming young man attached to her side on her couch. We exchanged the necessary pleasantries and introductions, then the questions began. He wanted to know a little more about me, so I told him where I was raised, where I went to school, what I like to do, even a little bit about what I believe. I let him know that I have already stalked his Facebook profile, but I wanted to know more about him as well. The kid gladly shared — went to the U of Arkansas on a full ride and graduated with an engineering degree, spent some time in college as a youth ministry intern at a church (I did the same two summers while in college), has a rock climbing hobby. His parents are both employed at the school he teaches physics and chemistry at. It’s the same school my daughter teaches at in Turkey. He has a shaved head, so I assume he’s balding, but I didn’t ask.
My daughter started talking a little about what it was like to be my daughter, told a few stories. One story was about the time I biked to one of her middle school track meets to watch her throw the discus. I was wearing white spandex, something that still traumatizes her. There was the time her freshman year of high school, at the annual Christmas concert, when I asked into the microphone where that boy who has been smooching on my daughter was at. I encouraged her new boyfriend to join me as a partner in crime, to enlist me if he needs help embarrassing her. He seems eager for me to help.
They seem to fit together very well. I already know that my daughter is head over heels for the guy. Seeing them together, even observing them through my phone. It brought back a few memories of my own, when her mother and I were fresh in love.
Those memories are a bit of the reason I am concerned for my daughter. We were excited and in love almost instantly, so much so that I asked her to marry me just a few months after our first date. Our first date was in October. I asked her to marry me the following February. This blog is proof of how that marriage eventually turned out.
That leads me to the dilemma of deciding about today. My daughter messaged me at lunch today.
What did you think of my boyfriend?
Excellent. That’s what I wanted to hear 🙂
Ha. I like the potential of him being my partner in crime.
Wellllll… would you like that to potentially be as soon as this summer (more emojiis)
He needs a place to live?
Hahahah… remember that we have known each other for a while. You know what I mean.
(I need to interject that I already had an idea of what she was hinting at, but was avoiding asking the question)
We have talked about potentially this summer (laughing emoji) soooooo just a warninggggg
Yeahhhhh… Remember that we’ve known each other for a while
I know, but, well, ummmmmm
So it may seem super quick, which I’m not saying it’s not quick, but it’s not as quick as it seems
I would encourage you to take some more time. There is good reason and the reason is probably obvious. Give yourselves time to let your minds catch up with your hearts. If you are truly in love, that is not going to change.
Of course, and good advice, of course.
The advice comes from experience. Anyway, I am happy for you. I should hold off on the advice and let you enjoy your moment.
There was a little more conversation, but the above is what I want to write down. This is one I want to come back to and remember.
Maybe she will come back down. Hopefully they both will. Even though they have been getting to know each other for two years, they have only been officially dating for a little over a month! It’s too quick. Sometimes that is OK, but my guess is that most times things rushed don’t work out so well. I do know, so my worry starts. There is very little I can do about it, especially since they are thousands of miles away. I know my daughter. She is a risk taker, a bit like me in that respect, and confident that her life is going to turn out well. Her decision to take the job in Turkey was a bit of a sudden decision. She consulted me about that decision, told me in no uncertain terms that she was going to Turkey no matter what I said. Even though she listened to me, she wasn’t going to change her mind. Turkey has turned out well for her, a unique experience that has set her apart. I am praying the decision to marry this guy will turn out the same way.
Thus, my day.